Adult Orphan .com

Hello World!

I am an adult orphan, and this is my story.

Orphan – a child, usually under 18, with both parents deceased  (like Batman or Oliver Twist)

Adult Orphan – a legal adult (or teenager) with both parents deceased

The are many books on grief. There are only a few on adult orphans.

Of the books or on adult orphans, most focus on the middle aged+ “baby boomer” who loses a parent around the age of 65-80+ and nothing about the 15-35 year old people out there.

I lost my dad at age 5.

(It was actually 4 days before my 5th birthday.)

I was lucky to have my mom longer, but even she passed at 52, when I was just 28 myself.

(Not even 2 months after my summer wedding)

There are grief and bereavement support groups in most areas. For parent loss of a child. For children who lose a parent. Even for loss of a pet. Grief is grief right?

I attended one group for adult orphans in my local area. It was a pleasant group, but I was 30 years old in a room full of 50+ ladies and one guy. One or two may have been 45ish.

My point?

I always tell people this, about the books, and the group:

It’s all nice. But most people who I bond with over loss of parents are about the same age that my parents would have been, so it makes the experience bitter-sweet.

There is less material by, about or for a 15-35 year old audience.

As a society, we expect a 50+ to lose a parent at 80+ from old age.

But think about….

The 15+ teenager, guy or girl without mom or dad for advice on dating and sex, or other gender-based issues.

Or the 25+ adult orphans without mom and dad for weddings, birth of children, or other life lessons or accomplishments.

And myself, a 32 year old seeking parenting advice, a grandparent babysitter and the stories of myself as a baby to compare to my son.

This website will chronicle my thoughts and my story as a Young Adult Orphan.

This website is also a community for other adult orphans. I welcome others to comment, share your story, or contact me personally.

I hope to both share my perspective, my advice, my story, but I want to learn from others too.

And most important, I want to give hope to other adult orphans that you are not alone.

9 thoughts on “Adult Orphan .com”

  1. Hello…as I searched adult.orphan..I found the same results..people in their 50s or 60s whose parents have passed away…I lost my dad when I was 31…very shortly after that, my mother (of whom I had cared for over the years with medical issues…nothing life threatening)..she decided to abandon the survivors (1 sister, my nephew, myself and my 3 children) both my sister and I were divorced mothers so needless to say it was very hard. This was 15 years ago. Still very hard…holidays, mothers day, father’s day, my dad’s bday, anniversary of my dad’s death., etc….just advice and someone to confide in…someone who has known me my whole life to care, I suppose. I have remarried and my life is wonderful. I have raised my children well and all are healthy and happy adults. …but…there is always a void…my friends don’t understand what it’s like to be without parents (because of the age group: 40s)
    I don’t have a relationship with my sister and don’t want to burden my husband with my insecurities because he (as wonderful as he is and as much as he tries) cannot understand, as he still has his parents.

    Most people just can’t comprehend what a huge loss it is…not only losing your parent but the long lasting effects it has on everyday situations.

    Should you like to chat sometime, contact me.
    ((Hug)) 🙂

    1. Hi Cheryl, when I posted this a year ago, I was overwhelmed by caring for my less than 6 month old 1st child. I’m back in business mode now, with full time daycare and more time to devote to this blog.

      For anyone who stumbles across this blog, feel free to email me directly:

  2. I’m so pleased to find this. Someone who has really been through the same thing I am going through. I have a wonderful 2 month old son. And I just lost my Dad, who was my rock and anchor, having lost my mother in 2004. I’m 36 and a first time Mum. I’m surrounded by great friends but have no other family. My grief has only just started to kick in and I know that like acid it will burn deeper the longer it goes on and will get worse before it gets better. The highs and lows I’m experiencing right now are so hard. It’s good to know I’m not the only one who has felt like this. Thank you.

    1. Hi Lisa, I understand completely. I have good days and bad days. And overall, being a mom just reminds me of mom (or being a parent, reminds of the parent you lost). Each milestone that my mom is not there to witness just tears off the scab, even when over the years, the wound may slowly be healing. Make sense? It’s hard to describe to those who have not experienced it. It’s bittersweet at best. But thanks for the comment. Message or comment to me anytime to vent or share your thoughts. I’d like to provide a community for people like us. 🙂

  3. I’m excited about communicating with other people who are going through the same type of situation. I just turned 24 2 weeks ago and I’m pregnant with my first child. My father died when I was 15 and my mom died earlier this year, just before I found out I was pregnant. She died after 8 years of struggling with cancer, which my father also died from. She was diagnosed 3 months after he died and life had been pretty hard since. My siblings don’t understand because they all at least have one parent. I’m the only one with none and I’m the youngest so it’s pretty weird. I feel so out of my element and I feel like I have no one who understands.

    1. Elisabeth, thanks for sharing your story. Please email me any time, or comment on any posts. It’s tough not having someone who relates to your situation. And even tougher when you are going through an important life experience like pregnancy. Cry when you need to, but also try to be strong. Later in life, your friends and siblings will relate and you will feel connected again. I tell this to myself every other week.

  4. Greetings, ?
    I found this site after looking for information on how to reach out to young adults without parents. First, I am so sorry about anyone losing parents at a young age. I am 54 and still do have aging parents. I am happily married with step-children in their 40’s who live very far from us. My husband is older than I am. Though we tried, we did not have children of our own and that has been a loss for us. At times, I really miss connecting with younger folks who may just be looking to connect with older adults. At times I do this in my ‘real’ life and somehow I also thought to try on-line as well. I hope it is OK to have reached out here and that no one is offended. Feel free to be in touch. And Many Blessings.

    1. Hi Karen, thanks so much for reaching out. Childless (older) adults are often the best people for (younger) adult orphans to connect with. My husband has an aunt who lost her only son in a tragic accident and she is the best “2nd mother-in-law” as she understands grief in general. But there is also the void of not having her son or any grandkids from him, while I have no mom and no grandma for my boy.

      Please comment any time and keep reaching out. It does mean something and makes a difference.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *